Asterix Travelling Through Time - translation started!

[Ortwin]

Yay, I finally translated the first three pages of our fan story to English! Please help me to improve the language, correct mistakes, include repeating jokes the right way etc.! I've only read one or two Asterix books in English so I'm not even sure I got all the names right. ;)

See the English pages here:
http://grvoid.com/asterix/01/english/page00.jpg
http://grvoid.com/asterix/01/english/page01.jpg
http://grvoid.com/asterix/01/english/page02.jpg
http://grvoid.com/asterix/01/english/page03.jpg

The original German ones for comparision, if you speak German:
http://grvoid.com/asterix/01/german_new/page00.jpg
http://grvoid.com/asterix/01/german_new/page01.jpg
http://grvoid.com/asterix/01/german_new/page02.jpg
http://grvoid.com/asterix/01/german_new/page03.jpg

Please copy the following script and add your improvements. To make them stand out, you could make them bold. Or just tell me exactly what is wrong/could be done better.



Page 0
Asterix travelling through time
Asterix drawn by his fans


Page 1
Picture 1
All is peaceful in our little gaulish village that we know very well...
Picture 2
There is no fight about Unhygenix' fish because his suppliers from Lutetia are on strike again so he was forced to catch fresh fish in the ocean.
Picture 4
Even the bard is quiet because he is sick in bed.
Picture 5
The Romans are behaving, too, because they have to rebuilt their camps after the latest gaulish attack.

Page 2
Picture 1
There is only one sound, from the menhir quarry...
Picture 2
...because Obelix is busy.
Picture 3
A: What are you building?
O: A hut for Dogmatix and his family!
Picture 4
A: Do you want to come with me to Getafix? He told me to visit him some time!
O: Yeah, I'm ready in a minute!
Picture 5
A: I wonder what Getafix wants?
O: Maybe he has invented a new cooking recipe for wild boars!
Picture 6
Come in!
Picture 7
G: Hello Asterix! Hello Obelix!
A: What's the matter?
Picture 8
Oh yes, I have improved the taste of the magic potion a little! You can try it!

Page 3
Picture 1
O: Can I try some magic potion, too?
G: Yes but only three drops!
Picture 2
But druid, you know what happened the last time Obelix drank from the magic potion!*
*See book 31: Obelix All At Sea
Picture 3
That's the point, I want to prevent Obelix from becomig a menhir again!
Picture 4
If Obelix does not get any magic potion, there is the danger that he steals some again and drinks it uncontrolled. If I give him some when he wants it, I can control how much he drinks. We know that a few drops won't do any harm.
Picture 5
O: May I try it now?
G: But yes!
Picture 7
O: Tasty!
A: The taste has improved indeed!


Have fun!

[SingingGandalf]

This looks really interesting. It's only the 2nd Asterix pastiche I have seen though, after 'Asterix and the Great wall', so does anyone know any others. I mean pastiches though, not 'parodies' like 'Alcolix'.

[Ortwin]

The Great Wall is only one page unfortunately. I'm always looking for others but there aren't really any, yet, as far as I know. However, we are working on our second story already and lately fan activity has increased a little. Maybe you have seen it, we've now got a fan fiction forum in the German section of the boards. ( http://www.comedix.de/forum/viewforum.php?f=9 )

[Erik]

Hello,

so does anyone know any others. I mean pastiches though, not 'parodies' like 'Alcolix'.

well, MantisQueen startet her Fanfic "Asterix in russia" a time ago at MantisWorld. But it seemed to make little progress in the younger past.

Regards
Erik

[invisifan]

Yay, I finally translated the first three pages of our fan story to English! Please help me to improve the language, correct mistakes, include repeating jokes the right way etc.! I've only read one or two Asterix books in English so I'm not even sure I got all the names right. ;)

My take on the language:
Page 1
Picture 1
All is peaceful in the little gaulish village that we know so well...
Picture 2
There's no fight about Unhygenix' fish. His Lutetian suppliers are on strike again so he is forced to catch fresh fish in the ocean.
Picture 4
Even the bard is quiet because he is sick in bed.
Picture 5
The Romans are behaving too, while they rebuild their camps after the latest gaulish attack.

Page 2
Picture 1
The only sound comes from the menhir quarry...
Picture 2
...where Obelix is busy.
Picture 3
A: What are you building?
O: A hut for Dogmatix and his family!
Picture 4
A: Would you like to come with me? Getafix asked me to come by!
O: Okay, I'll be ready in a minute!
Picture 5
A: I wonder what Getafix wants?
O: Maybe he's invented a new recipe for cooking wild boars!
Picture 6
Come in!
Picture 7
G: Hello Asterix! Hello Obelix!
A: What's the matter?
Picture 8
Ah well, I've improved the taste of the magic potion a little! You can try it!

Page 3
Picture 1
O: Can I try some magic potion, too?
G: Yes but only three drops!
Picture 2
But druid, you know what happened the last time Obelix drank magic potion!*
*See book 30: Obelix All At Sea
Picture 3
That's the point, I want to prevent Obelix from becoming a menhir again!
Picture 4
If Obelix doesn't get any magic potion, there's a danger he'll steal some again and drink too much. If I give him some when he wants it, I can control how much he drinks. We know that a few drops won't do any harm.
Picture 5
O: May I try it now?
G: of course!
Picture 7
O: Tasty!
A: The taste certainly has improved!

[MantisQueen]

Have there been any more English pages? (Not that I can talk ...) My German is--how shall we say?--non existant.

Regarding my own (which Erik mentioned :)), I have only posted two and a half pages worth (that's 5x A5 boxes for easy download) and Ancient Russia can now be seen. 'Tis mostly in pencil for now because I like how it looks and I'm slow enough as it is!

ps: I've been away for a while ... a combination of being busy and being slack.

[Washu]

God! That looks soo interesting. I want more, damit!

[Ortwin]

Sorry that this is taking so long but I've got so much other stuff going on... I'll try to continue it as soon as possible.

[SingingGandalf]

Don't worry Ortwin, I'm sure we all understand. We should be grateful to you for doing this in the first place.

[geopolitix]

Very good.

BTW, "his suppliers from Lutetia are on strike again" : I sense an innuendo about the French "strikomania"